So I have been to Israel numerous times. Six months here, 8 months there, two weeks thrown in for good measure... Israel has quite easily become my second home. I have a slew of friends, family and former flings there that it almost sometimes feels as if there is a whole different Jessica alter-ego that is simultaneously living another life across the world. Whenever I go to Israel, I easily fall back into another life and the transition seems so seamless.

The beach of Tel Aviv. How dreamy.

While it was amazing to see everyone- especially because I had trained myself to forget about Israel because I honestly thought it would be years before I would ever return- this trip was definitely different from every past trip that I had taken. 

The main reason why it was so different was because it was just a trip.

Usually when I am off for Israel, I am there for months. And leaving is an incredibly dramatic and painful process where I typically spend the following week in a ketonic depression filled with copious amounts of chocolate and vodka. Seriously, a dangerously delicious depression- but depression nonetheless.

This time, however, from the minute I boarded my plane in Logan the moment I was most excited for (okay, well technically second most excited for. I was super duper excited to see the face of my friend Melissa when I surprised her at her apartment) for was to come back home and be with my boyfriend again (cue vomit... I know).

The girls... After the big surprise! 

But it was more than just seeing my boyfriend. It was getting back to the life I had started making for myself here. Because every other time I had gone to Israel I really had nothing to come back to. Sure, I had university and a smattering of friends- but no real foundation. I didn't have an anchor holding me and guiding me steadily. I always had assumed that Israel was my anchor. 

But now I am in a completely different place than I ever thought I would end up. And I love it. 

I am starting university in one week. Tomorrow I begin my job training. I have started volunteering teaching my citizenship classes again on Saturdays. I have a full plate, but I feel grateful for every bit on it because I have a feeling I haven't had in a very, very long time- or perhaps ever. I feel like I am where I am supposed to be. 

While nothing in my life has been according to 'my plan', it does not even seem to matter. Because finally, I have begun to finally "figure it out" and while I may not be there 100% (and let's face it- who really is?) I am definitely on my way. And if it took me $1,200 and two weeks across the world to figure it out, then I'll take that too. 

I have been unemployed for officially 1 month. While in writing, it does not sound so treacherously long, some days it feels like a lifetime. I left my job with three interviews lined up- all very promising options- and the hope that I would be in a job within 2 weeks. And then reality set in. And, though I was offered a job, I knew that it was not a match and I would have been miserable. I now know that I cannot have a simple '9 to 5' where I clock in and clock out. At some point I know I will find that job where I feel passionate or I will just accept the next best thing out of desperation. When that breakthrough happens, however, I do not yet know. I have begun to adjust well to my new life of unemployment. I also like how it nicely coincided with the summer months. It also coincided quite neatly with my move into my new apartment with the boyfriend. Living together for the first time with a boyfriend is a new experience. I have never lived with a significant other before and I am pretty confident this will be my last time. You really do get to learn a lot about your partner- the good, bad and the ugly. But it is important to learn all that fun, dirty stuff too and it brings you closer. I can see how living together can totally destroy couples, though. So, while I am in a sort of limbo in life now I cannot deny I am incredibly happy and feel so blessed. I know that where I am is 100% the exact opposite of where I thought I would currently be in my life, but I also feel like in a way I skipped 30 steps ahead and found the true love of my life (super sappy, I know). I honestly imagined getting married in my mid-30's after having achieved some kick-ass career goals and traveling the world. And I know that whenever you make plans, God just laughs in your face but I think I am still pretty happy with how this version of life is playing out...

Have you ever been in a funk? One where you cannot seem to shake off your 'funkiness' no matter what you do?

Yeah, well that is me right now. 

The reason for my funk basically all boils down to the simple fact that I am currently unemployed after having quit my job. This is starting week 2 of my unemployment actually. While it is admittedly kind of enjoyable to sleep in, go out to lunch daily with my boyfriend and stay up until 4am- I cannot help but feel as if there is something missing. Oh, right- employment. 

I am trying to keep positive, but it is hard. Especially since Monday I will be meeting up with a small group of my former co-workers and I feel as if I have nothing to show for the fact that I pretty spontaneously up and quit my job. I had an Office Space-esque departure (minus the beating the shit out of the office equipment). 

I figured that I should at least try and do something productive with my life. I started redoing those crazy Insanity workouts and have finally submitted my application for my Master's program which for some reason I had been putting off for months now. But, writing has always been cathartic for me. And this should be no different. 

I hope to stick with it. I see no reason why I shouldn't- I quite literally have nothing else to do all day. True, I have been making lunch plans left and right. And I have been finding myself carving out an hour each day to catch Jerry Springer (I swear- I never used to watch this show and now I am somewhat addicted. Shameful, I know). 

So here is to being positive, hoping for a promising future, curbing my Springer addiction and renewing my blogger efforts. 

And here is to another night staying up til 4am.