This past year has been nothing short of a twisty, sometimes scary, a bit overwhelming super-sized roller coaster. 

Exactly one year ago I had my bank accounts closed, my bags packed and ticket purchased to move abroad with my best friend to spend a year working, backpacking and partying in South America. About a week before we were supposed to leave, she canceled via a phone call that ultimately destroyed our friendship and took me an incredibly long time to heal from.

But then a little miracle happened. I found an inner strength in me that I never knew existed. Because even though break-ups suck, breaking up with a friend can sometimes be even more traumatic. And devastating. But then I realized how much stronger I was for it and I learned to forgive and move on. And then, somehow, amazing things happened. 

With bank accounts already closed and bags already packed, I decided to apply to get my Israeli citizenship and move over there. Somehow while waiting for my passport and citizenship card (which to this day I am still waiting for due to the Army being stubborn) I met the most amazing man and I fell incredibly, madly and deeply in love. Within weeks of dating, I just had a feeling in my gut and I knew. 

But that meant I had to make a decision: stay and see where this relationship would go or follow 'my plan' and my dream to move to Israel. 

A lot of factors influenced my decision. I was still reeling from the hurt I had experienced from my friend backing out of our original plan and was scared to take another risk on someone else. I was scared to give myself to them, only to have them decide they don't want me. From my friend, I had realized a really harsh truth: people are selfish and they will do whatever serves them best. Which isn't necessarily bad, but so far out of my realm of thinking. 

Luckily the man I fell in love with is also unselfish and told me to follow wherever my heart decided; he would understand. 

It was agonizing trying to make that decision. Weeks of late nights and pro & con sheets tormented me. But I always came back to the same decision: I don't want to look back on my life and know that one person ruined any trust relationships I would have in my life. 

I went with my heart. 

And you know what? I haven't regretted it for a second. 

True, sometimes when we fight I wonder "What would have happened had I left? Would I have been happier?" And it is such a fleeting thought because it is so absurd. Because even when we fight and I slam doors, I still love that man with everything I have. 

So exactly one year ago today I was recovering from a broken heart. That girl, jaded at the world and feeling so betrayed every night in her bed alone, is so different from the girl today. 

Life is still hard. There are still bills to pay, loneliness to combat and dreams to realize I am in a better place than I ever could have imagined. And even though the ups and downs of life can be intense, it still is a rollercoaster I intend on riding til the very end. 

Being holed up in bed has allowed me to catch up on some reading. I am already a fast reader: I can inhale books in hours and will happily stay up all night in order to finish a book.

Yesterday I started reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project after hearing about how great and amazing a read it was from a variety of sources. 

She documents her journey by a month-to-month basis, and I am right around the end of April. So far I am enjoying it, and appreciate the honesty of which Rubin exhibits in her writing. For my tastes, it is a little too much introspective. With each chapter, she seems to be questioning herself and her motives and wondering if she isn't being too narcissistic or too self-involved by writing this book. And for a lot of the book, I can't help but wonder if she isn't overanalyzing a bit excessively. This is something that she does address, however, in the beginning of her book. 

Overall, I am finding her journey inspiring in its simplicity. She is not making sweeping life changes, but rather changing the way she reacts and handles things. Like a favorite quote of mine states: Life is 1% what happens to you and 99% how you react to it. And I think by altering the way we react to situations and to people can speak volumes about us. It is good to constantly evaluate ourselves and our behaviors, and I think that is what Rubin has done with this book.

And following in her example, I find myself also wanting to incorporate little changes in my life as well. So I have decided to embark on my own little project where I incorporate some of Rubin's ideas mixed with some of my own to construct my own Happiness Project.

For my first goal, I want to tackle something that has been haunting me for 23 years now: my love affair with clutter.  I swear, junk just follows me everywhere and somehow accumulates into these huge piles that just seem too unmanageable and intimidating that I either just ignore them or move them somewhere else. Not very productive. 

Rubin has devised a plan where, every night before she goes to bed, she will do some light cleaning for ten minutes. Simple, right? And definitely something I want to incorporate. 

I think it will be something that will become a process, though. Especially because ever since I started dating Pedro, I would spend sometimes 7 nights a week at his place. This would involve me packing a small bag of clothes, staying at Pedro's , leaving for work the next day from his place and throwing all my clothes in my bag, coming home from work to my house where I would shower, dump out my old clothes and back a new bag and repeat for a whole week. This is not very conducive to cleanliness. 

I think once I start my new job next week, and I will have to spend Monday-Friday sleeping at my place, I will be able to tackle this goal more efficiently. Organization and a clutter free life are things I desperately want- but I do need to work for them. So here I go with my first Happiness Project goal: declutter my life!

So as the title so mysteriously proclaims, I have quit my job! Celebrating tonight with a bottle of champagne and some form of chocolate cake.

Let's rewind. I got this job at an art gallery in the local mall back in October. I had just come back from Chile and was super lucky in that I got this job relatively quickly, it paid pretty well and it was incredibly easy. 

I was looking for a basic, part-time job that I could use for some extra income as I went ahead and proceeded on my plans to move to Israel.

But like my best friend, Gabby, has told me a thousand times over "Every time you make plans, God laughs in your face."

And laugh he did, because while I had closed out all my bank accounts, sold my belongings on e-Bay, and had a hanging calendar counting down the days to my flight (which actually would have been today!) I managed to somehow meet the love of my life and after spending an incredible New Years together, I made the fateful decision to stay back and be with him. And I haven't looked back since.

But I knew that I could not stay in a part-time job in the mall. I needed to get experience and have a job which didn't have hourly salary, but a yearly one. And while I totally think free wifi at work is a benefit, I do also appreciate health care coverage and vacation days.

So last week I got an offer to work for a company about 45 minutes away that organizes destination weddings. So, sure- it doesn't exactly scream "4.0 GPA International Affairs Major with a concentration in Conflict & Security and minor in History" graduate, but it seemed fun and to be honest- they were the only company to reply to me after spending about six weeks searching and sending my resume out around 150 times (I kept a spreadsheet record of every place I had applied. It wasn't pretty).

The job sounds interesting. It's a relatively easy commute. The people there are all really young so there is awesome friend-making potential. It's an internet based company so I can wear jeans and don't need to to have a wardrobe overhaul of Anne Taylor separates. I think I'll be happy. 

I have also had to recently re-evaluate a lot of my goals and life plans. It's only been about six weeks that I have actually decided to stay in the States and now I am still trying to piece together my life. This has sort of been my motto for this year. When I come to think of it, I shouldn't even have been here now. I should have been living in Chile, working as an ESL teacher and drinking pisco sours all day while lounging in a beach chair. 

But that is life. The only thing that is guaranteed in life is change. And ever since graduation, that has been the defining feature of my life: change. And more specifically, unexpected, cataclysmic, earth-shattering change- good and bad. 

So while my career and life goals have changed, a lot, I can't be deterred. I have new goals, new dreams and new hopes. And already I can tell how far I have come these past few months, because if the past version of Jessica had seen present version of Jessica working part-time in an art gallery, still living at home, in love with a Mexican bartender and planning to work in a destination wedding company- I think she would have totally freaked.