And just when I thought waking up every morning to a new slew of rejection letters from potential employers was not humiliating enough... I get this email:

At first glance, it's nothing special. I get a fair amount of lame and generic rejection emails daily. And then on second glance, I notice that I am not the only recipient on this email. Nay, rather I am one of 97.

Yes, this woman sent a mass email to NINETY-SEVEN people rejecting them from the job and also alerting the ninety-six other people that you also did not get this job. 

So in one way it is a nice comfort knowing that you can share your rejection with a relatively large pool of others. On the other hand... WTF? This is incredibly unprofessional, offensive and mildly humiliating. 

Depending on the job, I spend anywhere from ten to twenty minutes constructing my application. That includes tailoring my resume to best match the job position and crafting a cover letter after researching the position and the organization. I usually apply to anywhere from 5 to 50 jobs a day. You do the math. It is pretty much a part-time job for me to apply to jobs. 

And you- mass email sender- who is already gainfully employed full-time could not spare an extra ten to twenty minutes yourself to send individual emails? Seriously? You cannot have the consideration or professionalism to even accomplish that?

I think I am taking this even more to heart because it is just so symbolic of the frustration that I have already been feeling regarding my job search and its lack of progress. And when things like this happen... it just makes me lose even more hope. And not only that, but rejections on a daily basis can really just kick you in the gut self-esteem wise. It is hard when you spend your whole life believing you are an amazingly talented incredibly blessed gift on this earth and then spend an entire month getting rejected day after day. 

And to be honest, I am kind of sick of hearing everyone tell me "well, everyone is in the same boat as you" or "it's tough out there right now". Please, I know this. But at the end of the day, this is the last thing you want to hear. When you're super hungry and craving a Big Mac, you don't want your friend smugly informing you, "Well, imagine all those kids in Africa who haven't eaten in 3 days". You want to hear, "Girl, I hear you. We are going to get you that Big Mac. You deserve it. You have worked so hard for that Big Mac. You go out and get it. And make them give you extra pickles because you are such an amazing person".

Why does no one ever just do that?

So it is 7pm on a Friday which means that I have officially finished my first week of work. Whew.

It was an eventful week starting my first 'real' adult job. All week I have pretty much been shadowing my boss, watching her send e-mails and answer phone calls. It was a sort of passive-training where I pretty much just watch her do stuff while I took notes and made little drawings of stick brides.

Wednesday is when my week got sticky. I got into a fender-bender on my lunch break which lead to me crying my mother, hysterically crying and worrying that I had suffered brain damage as a result of the trauma. I'm a big baby at times.

Thursday I ended up going to the ER during my break to get treatment for a painful UTI that I have had since Monday and just ignored because I was so nervous about my first week of work and didn't want to ask for time off. Yeah, it is generally never ever a good idea to ignore a UTI. Like never. So that was fun to have to share with my new boss.

This morning I took off the morning to have an interview with a women's shelter in the area. I did lie to my boss about why I was taking the morning off (I told her I needed a follow-up for my ER visit the day before) and I feel super guilty about it. I hate lying. But I was so interested in this job. And I have been kind of stressed about having to maybe quit my job if I took this one. Basically, I stress a lot about things. Working on it.

But the interview went really well and I learned that the position is actually part-time. The center operates two shelters for victims of domestic violence and there are about a dozen 'relief workers' that take shifts operating 24 hours. We are just required to take a minimum of two shifts per month so it would be perfect for me: I can still keep my job working for a wedding company while simultaneously satisfying my non-profit, 'I need to help the world' urge.

I am also going to start taking classes at a university near my work to in Spanish, Middle Eastern cooking and belly dancing. 

I love how settled I am becoming and am loving getting into a routine after I have spent so many years traveling the world and being so restless. 

Never thought I would ever utter that sentence in my life. But, so what? I'm happy.

Currently I am enjoying a refreshing and chilled mojito at my favorite Mexican restaurant where the boyfriend works. And I like to think that I deserve it. Por que? You wonder. Well because today was my last day of work. Yippee!

I am excited to move on and explore new territory. Unfortunately- well not completely unfortunately- I have a little conundrum on my hands.

Today I received an email from the director of one of the largest and most prominent non profit organizations in Boston. I got his contact information via an old employer from high school that I recently visited with cupcakes and a plea for assistance.

This guy has been great. He spent a good hour on the phone with me, giving me advice about how to break into non profits and has generously forwarded my resume. I hadn't heard from him in awhile and to be honest, I was a little embarrassed to tell him about receiving my job offer (I need to work on not being embarrassed about this job just because it's not in the field that my parents paid a ridiculous amount of money for me to study in).

So he emailed me to tell me that there has been a job opening in the immigrant and refugee services branch of the organization. And of course I am stressed out because all I do is stress out about things even though I am trying to, as Pedro constantly reminds, "cry before the whip".

I am a work in progress.

My dad actually had a really good idea for how to handle the situation. Growing up I watched my parents deal with the pitfalls of owning their own business. I've noticed that while there are the traditional problems that are associated with businesses- such as maintaining clients, advertising the business and making a profit- the biggest headache that they had to deal with by far were their own employees. And because of that, and witnessing their countess headaches, I have always tried to be the best employee possible. Which is why the thought of starting a job and also interviewing for another at the same time makes me feel really... Dirty.

But my parents have been trying to reinforce that I need to think about myself and what is best for me. Which for some reason seems really daunting. And makes me feel guilty. And dirty. Where does all this guilt come from? Technically I'm only half Jewish so I feel like I should be experiencing significantly less guilt right now. What gives?

Anyone have similar experiences and want to offer me advice? A helpful motivational quote? Charming metaphor that will somehow explain away all my guilty feelings, perhaps with a witty anecdote? Any and all advice is welcome.

Happy Saturday! Looks like round two of mojitos for me!

So as the title so mysteriously proclaims, I have quit my job! Celebrating tonight with a bottle of champagne and some form of chocolate cake.

Let's rewind. I got this job at an art gallery in the local mall back in October. I had just come back from Chile and was super lucky in that I got this job relatively quickly, it paid pretty well and it was incredibly easy. 

I was looking for a basic, part-time job that I could use for some extra income as I went ahead and proceeded on my plans to move to Israel.

But like my best friend, Gabby, has told me a thousand times over "Every time you make plans, God laughs in your face."

And laugh he did, because while I had closed out all my bank accounts, sold my belongings on e-Bay, and had a hanging calendar counting down the days to my flight (which actually would have been today!) I managed to somehow meet the love of my life and after spending an incredible New Years together, I made the fateful decision to stay back and be with him. And I haven't looked back since.

But I knew that I could not stay in a part-time job in the mall. I needed to get experience and have a job which didn't have hourly salary, but a yearly one. And while I totally think free wifi at work is a benefit, I do also appreciate health care coverage and vacation days.

So last week I got an offer to work for a company about 45 minutes away that organizes destination weddings. So, sure- it doesn't exactly scream "4.0 GPA International Affairs Major with a concentration in Conflict & Security and minor in History" graduate, but it seemed fun and to be honest- they were the only company to reply to me after spending about six weeks searching and sending my resume out around 150 times (I kept a spreadsheet record of every place I had applied. It wasn't pretty).

The job sounds interesting. It's a relatively easy commute. The people there are all really young so there is awesome friend-making potential. It's an internet based company so I can wear jeans and don't need to to have a wardrobe overhaul of Anne Taylor separates. I think I'll be happy. 

I have also had to recently re-evaluate a lot of my goals and life plans. It's only been about six weeks that I have actually decided to stay in the States and now I am still trying to piece together my life. This has sort of been my motto for this year. When I come to think of it, I shouldn't even have been here now. I should have been living in Chile, working as an ESL teacher and drinking pisco sours all day while lounging in a beach chair. 

But that is life. The only thing that is guaranteed in life is change. And ever since graduation, that has been the defining feature of my life: change. And more specifically, unexpected, cataclysmic, earth-shattering change- good and bad. 

So while my career and life goals have changed, a lot, I can't be deterred. I have new goals, new dreams and new hopes. And already I can tell how far I have come these past few months, because if the past version of Jessica had seen present version of Jessica working part-time in an art gallery, still living at home, in love with a Mexican bartender and planning to work in a destination wedding company- I think she would have totally freaked. 

So since I decided to stay in the States to follow my heart and whatnot, I have been trying to find a full-time, 'real', adult job. I want to settle down, get a reliable 9-5 and get a paycheck in the week that can attempt to cover food, rent and gas.

I started applying for jobs on January 4. I know that because I have kept an Excel spreadsheet of every single job that I have applied for. I wanted to keep a record, just to see how many replies I got and as a way to gauge my process. A very frustrating process.

But thankfully this past week has opened the floodgates to requests for interviews and follow-ups. And I have some amazing leads.

For instance, I brushed up on my networking skills and visited the non-profit where I had volunteered and later worked while in high school. I brought cupcakes and a smile after not seeing everyone there for over four years. I explained my predicament- how I was now looking for a job, preferably in non-profits- and they were so supportive. They both have sent me leads for contacts. One is with Catholic Charities, an organization I had applied to independently before and had yet to hear anything. But now I have the contact information for two Executive Directors, including a phone Q&A with one of them for tomorrow to learn about some opportunities with Boston non-profits.

I also have an interview lined up for a destination wedding website, an admissions counselor and a phone interview at an organization that advocates for Israel on college campuses that I really respect and admire.

It's amazing how frustrated I was just a week ago and now I am overwhelmed with opportunities and have two interviews on Friday alone! I am awed by the power of networking and am so thankful that I still have these connections to work with.

The only downside is that most of these jobs are in Boston and due to the boyfriend needing to be close to his work, it looks like I will have to commute each day. According to my mother, "thousands of people do it each day and they are fine with it". But for some reason, the thought of having to commute every day makes me really want to run away. And one of the jobs requires that I travel 50% of the time to different college campuses. It's a great sounding job but egh. I hate driving on the highway. One of my adorable little quirks.

So I am super positive and excited for the new opportunities that will hopefully begin to start unveiling themselves. Sending out good vibes!