So this past couple days I have been sick. 

The kind of sick that makes you hole up in your bed all day, watching Netflix, using toilet paper as tissues because you can't be bothered to actually find any tissues and spam texting your boyfriend pitiful messages so that he will come and bring you hot cocoa during his break. 

It all sounds lovely in theory but I am ready for this to be over. I have missed two classes already and I have been an unfortunately negligent mother to my little puppy who has so much pent up energy that after we gave him a bath/shower today, he did laps around the apartment. Thank God tomorrow we both have the day off and can throw Moose at the dog park for an hour or two to make up for our horrible parenting while I have been sick.

Other than that... life is good. Since I've been sick I have not had time to head over to my new gym. I get a free assessment which sounds great until I remember that Dominos pizza I ate last night. But I am determined to get healthier. My immune system sucks and I just need more energy to handle this crazy schedule!

So I am off to rest my head, read a bit for some classes and then try to sneak in a good 10 hours of sleep- with some help from some NyQuil and call it a day/night. 

Here's to hoping tomorrow I wake up healed!

Eek how does time pass by so quickly?

Almost 1 month since I last blogged... I love writing, but it seems my true skills are in my ability to actively not blog.

What have I been up to?

• Still working at my job at the domestic violence shelter. Seriously, though: never a dull moment. Never.
• Still in grad school. Twice a week at nights so it's manageable. I like it a lot. Which reminds me I have a paper due next week. Riiiight.
• Still madly in love with the boytoy. We are almost 1 year together and it's just great and wonderful and hearts and unicorns and rainbows everyday. 
• Still completely lacking a social life. I work weekends and am either in school or at work. Legit that is my life. #noshame

So everything is still going well. I am finding myself surprised at how I am turning into such a ... townie. The girls at the breakfast place recognize us, I frequent the same stores and get recognized there and any time I am required to be anywhere 40 minutes or farther away, I just dread it. I am what I have always mocked. 

Life is funny.

But, I do have some surprising/exciting/amazing news. 

I am getting a puppy!

A brand new, adorable pint-sized puppy!

So obviously pictures will be posted when he arrives. He is arriving Sunday from North Carolina via car and I will be unable to pick him up since I will be at work. But my parents will be there to greet him and keep him company until I run home at 9pm. 

I can hardly contain my excitement. The past two days I have been running around the apartment "puppy proofing" it. And reading up on training techniques. And buying wee-wee pads. And trying so hard to resist buying bedazzled dog collars. So hard. 

So that is my news! And I know once that little 3lb nugget comes home, I will literally never leave this apartment again. So that basically means I will be filming non-stop videos of my puppy to put up on YouTube and having photoshoots every hour. 

Let the madness begin!

My first week of job training has officially been completed! I survived! It wasn't terrible at all, in fact I really enjoyed it but I am definitely happy it's over; it was a really heavy week.

I am starting to work for a women's domestic violence shelter in the area and in order to begin working, I had to complete a certain number of hours of training. I am officially now a Sexual Assault Advocate and a Mandated Reporter. It's a little heavy knowing now that I have these responsibilities- essentially 24/7- but it's a good burden to carry. 

Training condensed a lot of information into a short 24 hours and at the end of each day, we spent the last 15 minutes devising a strategy for ourselves to 'self-care' and decompress from the day. Easier said than done. The first 3 days were fine for me and then on the last day, I left training feeling very... angry.

We had spent that day discussing sexual assault and childhood sexual assault. We then discussed safety planning and how women who have left a domestic violence situation need to prepare themselves. Some preparations included switching supermarkets, parking in different areas, changing bank accounts... And I thought about how predictable my routine is. I am at Target at least once a week. I am addicted to frozen yogurt and am there at least once a week. I coupon at the same CVS on the regular. I am a creature of habit. 

Why did this particular moment in our training make me so angry? We had discussed so many more  intense subjects and yet this safety planning discussion was the one that stuck with me the most. 

I think the reason was that I reached a boiling point. I was just so... pissed. Why should the woman have to change where she shops? Where she parks? Why can't we simply tell the man to stop hitting his wife?!!?

Is it really that complicated?

Apparently, yes it is. And it made me think of male privilege and all the times I have felt so uncomfortable or violated by men in my life. About all the times I am walking, minding my own business, and a man passes me and smacks his lips at him. About all the men who feel the need to tell me "You're a pretty girl, why don't you give me a smile?". About all the times I felt the uncomfortable touch in a bus or a metro train. And it angers me. 

I am educated. I have traveled the world. I read books that (sometimes) don't have pictures in them. 

And even if I did none of the above, the same is true: JUST BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN, YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DEMEAN ME AND TREAT ME AS IF I AM JUST ON THIS PLANET FOR YOUR SHEER ENTERTAINMENT OR PLEASURE. 

I DO NOT owe you anything. Not a smile, not a response to your inane questions or pick-up lines. Nothing.

You see how I went from 0 to 60 there? 

And it is exactly how I feel. Why do I need to change the way I dress? To make sure my skirt is long enough, my boobs are tucked in enough, my make-up is not too dark.... Why can't you just control yourself and treat me like... a human being? This is not such a revolutionary concept, but unfortunately today- in the year 2012- we still need to be reiterating this. 

So if you ever see me on the street walking one day, and I look angry or upset, don't ask me for a smile because chances are you are the reason why I am not smiling in the first place.