One week ago I was reeling from a slew of job rejections, a general feeling of deprime (depression in French just sounds so much more sophisticated) and having just an overall tough time with life. Ever since quitting and committing my life to living in this suburban hell (melodramatic much?) I have been in a bit of an existential funk. I have also been really lonely as it has been hard to make friends and I have no job so essentially my life has consisted of a lot of Tostitos and Jerry Springer.

Until Friday of last week. In which I, hopeless and forelorned, received a job offer which took me about .005 seconds to accept. And not any job. It is not administrative job that I resigned to applying for, nor the front staff at a local gym. No, I actually somehow managed to score a job in my field and more importantly, something that is related to Social Work, which I will be studying starting in the Fall.

Additionally, the job is super flexible. I sign up for shifts a month before and can make my schedule around my classes. It almost is too good to be true. Almost.

Also, since I won't be starting school until the fall and my training for work does not being until the first week of September I came to the very astute observation that I have a good 2.5 weeks to kill.

So, in the good nature of spontaneity that I sometimes possess coupled with a recklesness that I have never possessed, I booked a plane ticket to Israel for 2 weeks leaving in less than a week. Yep, I dropped $1,000 on a plane ticket across the world to go see my friends, party and work on my tan.

I reckon it will totally be worth it.

So I am leaving for Israel to hang out with all my lovely friends for 2 weeks, have a great job lined up and am starting graduate school in 2.5 weeks. Awesome, right?

I am a little nervous about how everything will work out. Will I be overwhelmed working, studying and volunteering on weekends? Will I be able to balance everything and still be able to relax once in awhile and see my boyfriend?

I think know that it will definitely be a challenge, but I think I am ready for it. Or at least I will be after 2 weeks of fun in the sun... Right?

And just when I thought waking up every morning to a new slew of rejection letters from potential employers was not humiliating enough... I get this email:

At first glance, it's nothing special. I get a fair amount of lame and generic rejection emails daily. And then on second glance, I notice that I am not the only recipient on this email. Nay, rather I am one of 97.

Yes, this woman sent a mass email to NINETY-SEVEN people rejecting them from the job and also alerting the ninety-six other people that you also did not get this job. 

So in one way it is a nice comfort knowing that you can share your rejection with a relatively large pool of others. On the other hand... WTF? This is incredibly unprofessional, offensive and mildly humiliating. 

Depending on the job, I spend anywhere from ten to twenty minutes constructing my application. That includes tailoring my resume to best match the job position and crafting a cover letter after researching the position and the organization. I usually apply to anywhere from 5 to 50 jobs a day. You do the math. It is pretty much a part-time job for me to apply to jobs. 

And you- mass email sender- who is already gainfully employed full-time could not spare an extra ten to twenty minutes yourself to send individual emails? Seriously? You cannot have the consideration or professionalism to even accomplish that?

I think I am taking this even more to heart because it is just so symbolic of the frustration that I have already been feeling regarding my job search and its lack of progress. And when things like this happen... it just makes me lose even more hope. And not only that, but rejections on a daily basis can really just kick you in the gut self-esteem wise. It is hard when you spend your whole life believing you are an amazingly talented incredibly blessed gift on this earth and then spend an entire month getting rejected day after day. 

And to be honest, I am kind of sick of hearing everyone tell me "well, everyone is in the same boat as you" or "it's tough out there right now". Please, I know this. But at the end of the day, this is the last thing you want to hear. When you're super hungry and craving a Big Mac, you don't want your friend smugly informing you, "Well, imagine all those kids in Africa who haven't eaten in 3 days". You want to hear, "Girl, I hear you. We are going to get you that Big Mac. You deserve it. You have worked so hard for that Big Mac. You go out and get it. And make them give you extra pickles because you are such an amazing person".

Why does no one ever just do that?

I have been unemployed for officially 1 month. While in writing, it does not sound so treacherously long, some days it feels like a lifetime. I left my job with three interviews lined up- all very promising options- and the hope that I would be in a job within 2 weeks. And then reality set in. And, though I was offered a job, I knew that it was not a match and I would have been miserable. I now know that I cannot have a simple '9 to 5' where I clock in and clock out. At some point I know I will find that job where I feel passionate or I will just accept the next best thing out of desperation. When that breakthrough happens, however, I do not yet know. I have begun to adjust well to my new life of unemployment. I also like how it nicely coincided with the summer months. It also coincided quite neatly with my move into my new apartment with the boyfriend. Living together for the first time with a boyfriend is a new experience. I have never lived with a significant other before and I am pretty confident this will be my last time. You really do get to learn a lot about your partner- the good, bad and the ugly. But it is important to learn all that fun, dirty stuff too and it brings you closer. I can see how living together can totally destroy couples, though. So, while I am in a sort of limbo in life now I cannot deny I am incredibly happy and feel so blessed. I know that where I am is 100% the exact opposite of where I thought I would currently be in my life, but I also feel like in a way I skipped 30 steps ahead and found the true love of my life (super sappy, I know). I honestly imagined getting married in my mid-30's after having achieved some kick-ass career goals and traveling the world. And I know that whenever you make plans, God just laughs in your face but I think I am still pretty happy with how this version of life is playing out...

Have you ever been in a funk? One where you cannot seem to shake off your 'funkiness' no matter what you do?

Yeah, well that is me right now. 

The reason for my funk basically all boils down to the simple fact that I am currently unemployed after having quit my job. This is starting week 2 of my unemployment actually. While it is admittedly kind of enjoyable to sleep in, go out to lunch daily with my boyfriend and stay up until 4am- I cannot help but feel as if there is something missing. Oh, right- employment. 

I am trying to keep positive, but it is hard. Especially since Monday I will be meeting up with a small group of my former co-workers and I feel as if I have nothing to show for the fact that I pretty spontaneously up and quit my job. I had an Office Space-esque departure (minus the beating the shit out of the office equipment). 

I figured that I should at least try and do something productive with my life. I started redoing those crazy Insanity workouts and have finally submitted my application for my Master's program which for some reason I had been putting off for months now. But, writing has always been cathartic for me. And this should be no different. 

I hope to stick with it. I see no reason why I shouldn't- I quite literally have nothing else to do all day. True, I have been making lunch plans left and right. And I have been finding myself carving out an hour each day to catch Jerry Springer (I swear- I never used to watch this show and now I am somewhat addicted. Shameful, I know). 

So here is to being positive, hoping for a promising future, curbing my Springer addiction and renewing my blogger efforts. 

And here is to another night staying up til 4am. 

So around 2.5 months have passed since my last post. Oops. 

I have actually missed blogging a lot. Mostly because I love to write and have a sounding board somewhere out there on the interwebs where I can write what I am thinking and feeling and reflect on it. 

Like this little nugget of information: I quit my job on Friday.

The same one I was so excited about the last time I had updated my blog. 

I feel good about the decision though. After I officially had quit and submitted my notice, I felt a huge sense of relief. I also had broken out in hives on my chest and sweat through my entire shirt, but I still felt relief.

I have never had to quit a job and it was a really awkward experience for me, but I am so glad I did. I have been miserable in this job and in turn have been making life miserable for everyone else in my life. I was sick of people yelling at me, annoyed at the lack of internal support and frustrated with the overall mission and ethic of the company I was working for. I explained to my boss that I wanted to work somewhere I felt passionate and inspired. 

Volunteering and teaching civics classes on Saturdays has really showed me what I am lacking in my life. I want to feel inspired every day of the week. I want to change lives and feel good about myself. I simply cannot do that at my current job.

It was not the best timing to quit my job either. I just signed a lease for a brand spankin' new apartment where Pedro and I will officially be moving in together and even though I do have a cushion of money saved up, the pressure is definitely on to find something fast. And I know now to not just take the first job offered- I need something that will excite and challenge me.

Here's to new beginnings?

So I have been pretty MIA from this blog lately. Mainly because I have been attempting to adjust to working 9 hour days, managing a social life, trying to keep the boyfriend happy and balancing my working out. 

And yeah, it hasn't been easy. I think this is the week, though, will be the week that I master it all. I started the Insanity exercise program today, have started sorting my finances and even have made time to paint my nails an obnoxious bright red.

Balance. And time management. Skills I still need to master.

I am heading to bed due to exhaustion but stay tuned for more faithful posting. G'night. 

So while this week I didn't make any money off my couponing, I did get everything I bought for free. So that was fun. It also resulted in me dramatically coming back home, marching to my living room, turning off the TV and making my family watch as I unveiled all my newly purchased swag for my stockpile. The past two weeks I have really gotten a hold of the whole couponing thing and as a result, every Sunday I ride a my 'coupon high' and basically bother everyone with bragging about my most recent conquests. 

So this week was a pretty small haul. I ended up getting 2 Softsoap body washes retailed at $4.49 each (the shea butter creme smells amazing!), the RevitaLens contact solution at $8.99, CVS brand band-aids at $3.79 and the Revlon nail polish at $4.79.

Here's how it broke down: 

My first transaction was the Softsoap. CVS had them on sale at 2 for $7 and then you receive $5 ExtraBucks. I had $7 ExtraBucks from last week, which got them for me for free.

I then used the $5 ExtraBucks and a $2 Extrabucks from last week and combined with $3 off a $10 healthcare purchase CVS coupon stacked with a $2 off the Revitalens to bring the Revitalens and CVS band-aids to about 80 cents and received $3 ExtraBucks. 

I then used those $3 ExtraBucks to buy the Revlon nail polish, which brought the price down to $1.79 and from that transaction I got $3 more ExtraBucks for next week.

So all in all, I spent about $2.40 for everything but received $3 ExtraBucks making a slight profit of about 60 cents. Not bad!

Happy Sunday everyone!