Normally I kind of look forward to Valentine's Day. For my 23 years of existence, I have always been single for Valentine's Day. And since I went to an all-girls high school, it really wasn't that relevant to me. For me, the best part of Valentine's Day is gorging out on pizza, watching Lifetime and heading over first thing the day after to buy all the candy for 1/2 off.
So as this was my first ever Valentine's Day with a boyfriend- and it would be our first Valentine's Day together- I found myself getting caught up in making it 'super special and memorable'. I wanted the day to be like a really long Hallmark commercial. Except with more cake.
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| My flowers at work. |
And my day was definitely.... memorable- and all thanks to Pedro. Firstly he surprised me at my work by bringing me roses and a balloon. Super cliched, but still- I couldn't help but melt.
After work I decided to treat myself to the massage that Pedro had bought me for my birthday. The place was called Asian Island and was one of those pop-up stores at the mall. It looked a little shady, but harmless. Yeah, understatement of the year.
The massage was something out of a horror movie. Firstly, I was quickly ushered into this little cubicle-esque space with nothing but a gauzy curtain to separate us from the hallway and thus, everyone else in the store.
When I walked in, the 'masseuse' (I am using this term in the most loosely-defined way possible) told me
"Shoe off" so I pulled off my boots and she pointed to the bed and barked out "Face down". I was confused as to whether I would take my clothes off... but with the lack of privacy and general language barrier, I just assumed this was one of those places that would rub my shoulders for an hour. Why not? It wasn't like I really had anywhere else to go.
So I lay down and she starts to lift my shirt and unsnap my bra. Oh okay. She starts to try to take my shirt off. Normally it takes at least 4 more drinks for this to happen. Especially in a place where literally anyone in the mall can walk by and see my girls. I jump up and say "Um, should I take off my shirt?" She nods yes and smiles. I point to the curtain and she kind of looks confused for a second, but then brings me a small hand towel and kinds of holds it up for a little privacy shield. Meager, but I'll take it.
So I'm topless. Mildly petrified but keeping an open mind. She then puts said hand towel, which was super rough, on my back and massages me with that on me. I am confused. Why didn't she just leave my shirt on? At least my shirt was soft. And clean.
This lasts for 15 minutes. Then she moves to my butt. And she starts digging her elbows into my butt. Like she's digging really hard. So much that I keep squirming around which just motivates her further to the point that she joins me up on the bed, straddles me and continues to jab her elbow in to my butt. For about twenty minutes.
Then she starts rubbing my legs. She rubs then super hard, back and forth- kind of like she is washing the floor. Except I have my jeans on still. And I am getting rug burn. I am in pain.
This weird massage continues, with little bursts of her punching- quite literally- punching my arms and legs. She then cracks my fingers. Punches me a little more.
And then the head massage. Keep in mind the whole time she is 'massaging' me she has not used any oil or lotion. And it's winter. My skin is dry. Do you know how incredibly difficult it is to massage someone without any kind of lubricant? Incredibly.
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| Not the best picture, but you get the idea. |
She also has incredibly long nails. That she uses to scratch my head. Exactly how I scratch my dog's head when he manages to pass a whole day without pooping in the house. Exactly like that.
And then for the best part. After scratching my head, she proceeds to stick her fingers- nails and all- in my ears and swirl then around for a bit. And then immediately after runs them through my hair again.
Needless to say I ran out of there straight home where I immediately jumped in the shower for a good 20 minutes. Almost 24 hours later and I still feel a little dirty.
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| The real love of his life. |
After that adventure, I got ready for my date night with Pedro. We ended up going to for Mexican food (so predictable) and grabbed our dessert at our usual restaurant that we hit at least three times a week. By the time we got back to my house, Pedro was pretty tipsy off his giant margarita and he kicked me out of my room for 15 minutes.
When he called me in, I saw that he had decorated the stairs leading up to my room and the entire room with candles and rose petals. And on the bed was a card with a huge Russel Stovers chocolate heart. Again, super cliched but so freaking adorable. He knew how much I loved the tackiness and lameness of all that Valentine's Day nonsense and he wanted to make it special for me.
I really think this one is a keeper.
